On this day, beginning of the Edinburgh Festival 2019, the sun beat down – not a rain cloud in the sky, but, as always, she was looking forward to Autumn when she could venture outside without being chased by bees or wasps.
Buzz, Buzz – so frightening!
Bus journey had been something to avoid. Hot weather brought bees and wasps through the open windows more often than not.
Male passengers would mostly sit there, looking stoic and pretending to be calm, tutting and shaking their heads, as some of the female passengers would be jumping up and down, leaving one seat for another in an attempt to distance themselves from these buzzing bodies and with the hope that they would be left alone and someone else would take the stings.
Always, she carried an insect swat in a large beach bag – chosen for the concealment of her weapon. She felt unable to wield it in a public place, particularly a bus.
There would be judgements made. Bees and wasps were needed. Hard to tell the difference sometimes (a particular dislike for wasps)!
Was she running from a bee or a wasp?
Bumble bees were obvious. Their round, plump, hairy, striped little bodies strutted their superior position as VIPs on our planet but there were other bees which looked very wasp like, definitely (in her opinion) members of a lower order: thereby giving them a whack on the head seemed less unacceptable to her. Unless, of course, environmental activists were around.
You couldn’t tell these days by just looking at how they dressed, as you could in the past. No…the whack and the disposal of corpses had to be carried out in private.
She had a marvelous day at the Book Festival in Charlotte Square Gardens, having bought tickets to see Denzal Meyrick, who was hilarious and for a while, she felt quite relaxed.
The man sitting directly in front of her in the tent, had an extremely shiny bald head which, during Mr Meyrick’s talk, became a landing station for a persistent wasp (or bee…who knows). He seemed unaware of his passenger, unlike everyone sitting around him, most of whom were fidgeting uneasily.
The urge to bring out her swat was overwhelming, but it remained in its bag as she swiftly left her seat and made for the exit.
“THERAPY” she thought, as she made her way to Princes Street “That’s what I need”.
She caught the 44 bus which was busy with people standing inside. As soon as she showed her pass, she was aware of the agitation.
3 WASPS – causing chaos!!!
It was the last straw! She dug deep into her bag and with 3 well aimed swipes, became the heroine of the hour! Delirious with delight within these euphoric moments, she had to restrain herself from taking a bow and making a speech!
There was almost a round of applause as she reached her stop at Juniper Green.
THERAPY COULD WAIT!!!